Wednesday, November 10, 2010

A BRIEF NOTE TO OOM SCHALK. The Udders of Conversational Opportunity...

Dear Oom Schalk,
 Unlike the Marico, the pace of things here in the Colony is sadly far too hectic, to allow one the time to watch a cloud of dust on the horizon gradually change shape and become, before your eyes, the Post Lorry en route to Jan Beneuk's Trading Store and Post Office Agency. I do miss that aspect of life in the Marico,where the weekly trip to collect the post from Jan's store - with the exception of those Brown Enveloped Bills (BEB's) demanding money for services long rendered - was an event that required thoughtful planning to ensure that the udders of conversational opportunity could be savoured and milked  to their fullest potential.

 Jan Beneuk's Store was the veritable centre of the universe on a Post Lorry day and attendence thereat was almost like prescribed reading in an examination of one's value to the community - failure to attend held the probability of social consequence to ghastly to contemplate!

Such opportunity does not exist at our local Post Office in the Colony, which offer's a highly impersonal customer experience, shunned even by the BEB's, who have long foregone the cloak of stealth that saw them hiding between letters from loved one's and friends in one's post office box.These BEB's have now dispensed with the charade of envelope and stamp and simply invade the memory of a person's electronic mail post box, springing out like armed robbers at any time of the day or night to demand their right to hijack hard earned income and savings.It is in fact such an invasion of my privacy and good name that  requires me to take a few cattle to auction today. I must therefore limit my scribbling to this short note and attempt to repel these pirate-like boarders by raising sufficient cash at the auction to settle their demands or face a long and tedious grovelling for extended credit at the bank - the outcome of which will be fruitless!

Farming in the Colony bears remarkable similarity to farming in the Marico. It lacks, however, the sedate pace of life enjoyed by those who toil with the soil in the land of the Dwarsberge, a pace that allows one to defer until tomorrow that which required attention yesterday... in ultimate good faith!
When I write again I must tell you of  my sojourn in Loeriesfontein, a town where hospitality is dispensed in buckets and where the water, or lack of it, adds a a wonderous strength to the odd tot of Klipdrift.
Until then...
Die Uwe
Spyker Koekemoer

Note to readers unfamiliar with Afrikaans:- The surname Beneuk is a corruption of Beneke.The word - beneuk - implies in Jan's case, an ability to fully employ the Latin phrase,Caveat Emptor, in his business dealings....

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