Sunday, August 18, 2013

With Rhubarb rampant on a bed of Butternut pumpkin - Lettuce pray!

Dear Oom Schalk,

A highly regarded farm school, here in the Colony, was recently used as the Set for the shooting of a film called - 'Spud' -  based on  the blockbuster novel of the same name, which was a ripping read and a best seller worldwide!
*Spud - Slang for Potato

Soon after the release of the film - the 'lead Potato' in the cast, came out of the dormitory cupboard and publicly declared himself as gay.

This sent local rumour mills into overdrive and they are now hot with whispers that three Butternut pumpkins are going to come out of the vegetable garden at the school and publicly reveal their own sexual preferences.

A source, with close connections to the schools' Highland  Games &   Dancing Club, tells me that following this rumour, there has been an oversubscription of entrants for the dancing classes – particularly the Gay Gordons - and I have heard separate, very discreet intimations, of a spike of interest in how to Toss the Caber!
Ja Nee Oom Schalk - It came as quite a shock! The Butternuts evidently felt that they were not held in the same esteem that they were accustomed to and that their position was no longer certain in the meat and two veg order of things. They felt that they had become a little bland, a tad
unexciting... and were no longer perceived as the 'go to' food choice  they once were! 

They decided that a sexual preference confession was what was needed to knock the Pattypans and the Mediterranean Vegetable Mafia from the top of the pile... it certainly brought about a chain reaction that brought forward some strange outcomes.

Dubbel-Dop van Niekerk used the opportunity to declare that he found the subject far too confusing and would confine himself to speed-drinking Klipdrift at the Boesmanland Pub and Grill until this declaration of sexual preference nonsense was declared an illegal gathering.

I personally think, that if indeed, an illegal gathering declaration is made,  Dubbel-Dop will immediately appeal it's validity in the Constitutional Court - He is not one to drift too far from a path well travelled to a Pub well seated. 


Spyker Koekemoer

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